Looooong time no see.
Last blog post was 6 years ago yea. Wow. Life has been somewhat hectic or no?
I am still working at the same company from 2020. It is a super achievement for me for staying that long as my previous longest serving year was 3 years.
This is random decision to update my blog. I was looking at this blog to search for a specific term called pareidolia in my post The Guest. I didn't even remember I've known this term before. That vocabulary might have disappeared from my brain.
I have 4 kids now. Wow. I didn't update about getting twins in 2018, and I got another baby last year just before I decided to put a limit to myself to not get pregnant after 40. I am 40 now, birthday was earlier this month.
Wow, can't believe I've reached the age 40. Alhamdulillah for still allowing me to breathe and living this world. Oftentimes I would think that I am halfway through life already, the end may be nearer than I think. It is scary at times thinking about it. It is any time now actually.
Alhamdulillah my parents & in laws are still around too, but that is also a ticking bomb situation. We are blessed that they are still around, but as years goes by, sooner or later we will lose someone as that is how life is. Our time in this world is always finite.
In 2016, my brother in law passed away at the age of 37. I always had this thinking that I've lived passed the age when by BIL passed away, I should be grateful for the life I've gain till now. This year, his then wife passed away too. I haven't seen her, my 'biras' for years after she remarried shortly after my brother in law passed away.
Last week my husband's cousin’s son passed away. He should be 28 this year. A very young soul. 4 years ago he had an accident which left him in coma for almost a year and after that he was mostly bedridden. He seemed to be progressing well every year with the past year he was able to send message in the extended family chat group and earlier this year he went on holiday to in his wheelchair with his nuclear family. I didn't know him well before, even my husband didn't know this cousin's son's well too because before this we didn't go back to his kampung where his aunties lived that often and hardly met him, but he seemed to be very close to the whole extended family. After his accident, every year during raya we would make effort to visit him in Kedah. The last time we saw him was this year's raya. Didn't expect this would the the last time we saw him. He passed away due to infection from flu which led to sepsis. It was sad seeing my husband's cousin to lose her son. I feel so sad thinking about parents losing their child before them. I saw that all his uncles & aunties (husband’s cousins & their spouses) were deeply saddened by this.
Just before my husband's cousin's death, I lost my 90+ years old aunt, a day before my birthday. She is my father's sister. She was blessed to live that long. The last time I saw her was last year's Raya Haji in Southern Thai. She passed away in Southern Thai too. She was always around after I had my babies, but she did not have the chance to see my last baby this time as she couldn't travel much anymore. She was a very cute, petite and talkative old auntie.
Life ends at various ages, that's why it is scary thinking of it. It is always a ticking bomb. No one knows. I hope I could live long enough to see my kids getting married, but no one knows.. I had my youngest baby at 39, will I live up to 70+ to see her getting married by then? Wallahua'lam.
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